S&S Quiz Night

Last night saw the welcome return of Quiz Night in the Sports and Social Club. Defending champions featuring myself, Barry Beef, F*ck All, Pookie and a masked superstar were back to defend our title and due to a change in article 7.4 subparagraph 2 of the S&S Pub Quiz Rulebook were allowed to field an additional sixth player and went for the fluffy animal lover. In order to maintain our luck we had last time we sat at the same table as last time and kept the same team name "I wish this microphone was a penis" although that seemed to be abbreviated to "penis" by the authorities. Defending our title was not going to be easy and there were many more teams involved some of whom were armed with mobile phones and WAP and sure enough we lost our title and came a disappointing but perfectly respectable 8th place. This was a great number of places higher than a team by the name of "The Final Countdown" formed together by a crowd of drunken retrobates who are normally found in the Sports every night and a drafted in ringer by the name of Recess Monkey. They were almost as unsporting as we were by having twice the number of permitted players, taunting gestures at our team and generally being drunk and boisterous. However, after scoring 1/10 in the TV Police round they were destined to get the woooden spoon, although the wooden spoon turned out to be a toy bee with a fan on it. Revenge for the taunting we expericed from them during the quiz was dished out with songs and generally poor behaviour. However, a good night was had by fall and congratulations to Na-Na-Na for falling down the stairs this morning as a result of his hangover. Oh, and well done to Joe's Team for winning.

Karaoke Update

Tragic news, Gutbuster has no balls...
Karaoke still on though from 7.30pm in the S&S, you know you love it.

Karaoke Night

The tuneful sounds of karaoke descend on the Sports and Social Club again tonight starting at 7.30 and the rematch of one of the bitterest grudgematches. Yes it's Recess Monkey V Gutbuster. The Monkey has promised to arrive in good time so that he can get his song in and Gutbuster has not been seen for a few days so is assumed to be in training. Let battle commence. Lord Lucan hopes to be belting one out as well.

World Record Letter

Here for your delight is the letter which I have just sent to Guinness World Records regarding the bacon fry...

The Lord Lucan

thelordlucan@yahoo.co.uk

www.thelordlucan.blogspot.com

Records Management Team

Guinness World Records Limited

3rd Floor

184-192 Drummond Street

London

NW1 3HP

Dear Sir/Madam,

Whilst enjoying a drink with friends in a small bar in London the decision was taken to have some Smiths Bacon Fries. Imagine our surprise then when we found what I believe to the World’s Largest Bacon Fry in our randomly chosen packet. I have been on your website and done a wider search on the internet and can’t find any existing record for the World’s Largest Bacon Fry. Therefore I believe we hold the record for the World’s Largest Bacon Fry.

I have attached a number of photos of the Bacon Fry including one showing its size by comparing it to a 50p piece. I have used my A-Level in mathematics to calculate that since the height of a 50p piece is 2.5cm therefore the bacon fry is 3.5x7.5cm, which I am sure you will agree is quite a phenomenal size for a bacon fry. Sadly I am unable to send you the bacon fry as my frugal friends felt that food shouldn’t go to waste and promptly ate it. Although they did say it wasn’t very nice.

Due to circumstances beyond my control I am of no fixed abode at the moment. However, I am online. Therefore I would be wondering if you could be kind enough to confirm whether I do indeed hold the record by emailing me, my address is thelordlucan@yahoo.co.uk.

I look forward to hearing from you and in the meantime I will continue to endeavour to find peculiar food products in public houses.

Kindest Regards,

The Lord Lucan

The Bacon Fry

Sometimes something so odd happens whilst in the Sports and Social that you have to let the world know. Remember this man...He has now left this fine established from the shock of one of the worlds largest pork scratchings. However, the last wek things took a turn for the scarier when the most enormous bacon fry was discovered in the Sports and Socail Club. Here it is in its wrapping still untouched... Next to get size comparison here it is next to a 50p piece.And here is is in all it's glory...After much discussion of whether to a) Return to manufacturer and demand a refund. b) Send it to the Guinness Book of World Records or c) eat it, option c was the winning idea. Two brave souls tried it and descirbed itas soggy and quite minging here is one of the brave tasters tucking in. Mmm, yum yum...
Searches on the Guinness World Record website as well as a google search couldn't yield a current existing record for the world's largest bacon fry. Lord Lucan is now going to write them a letter with attached photo to see if this really was the world's largest bacon fry.

Karaoke...The Photos

As promised, here are a selection of the photos from Thursday night (certain bloggers identities have been protected)...

First up here is Gutbuster doing his Elvis thing...

Doesn't the next reveller look like Paul Burrell?...
Put your hand in the air if you are Barry Beef...
It's the lovely DJ from the night, Michelle...
It's that Burrell bloke again...
He may have turned up late but Recess Monkey looks like a happy chappie...

There is an MP in the next photo, can you spot him?...
Put your hands in the air, put your hands up in the air...
The obligatory luvvy-duvvy photo...
Finally, can anyone guess who these very drunken eyes belong to...

My Head Hurts

Feeling delicate today, very delicate after staggering into bed at about 1 in the morning (I actually have no idea when it was but an educated guess puts it at 1). Lord Lucan arrived, already quite tipsy, at the S&S at 6.30 and with what seemed like the rest of the Parliamentary Estate, enjoyed karaoke night. The bar was packed and a good time seemed to be had by all. Photos will be sorted over the weekend and published hopefully on Monday. The great fight of Gutbuster V. Recess Monkey was a win to Gutbuster on the grounds that Monkey Boy turned up far too late to get his song in. He will claim he did a duet but that doesn't count. After all that excitment, an extremely drunk, Lord Lucan wobbles out of the S&S and onto a bus to meet arty friends at a Kennington Hotspot followed by passing out at about 1. Up a seven for what I thought was a 9am Christmas Party but in fact was an 8.30 which I felt surpringly not too terrible for. Now, naked, tired and emotional I'm going to pretend to do some work before going to bed. Bon Nuit.

Update: Clearly struggling as it has taken 5 attempts to get a bit of paper into the bin which is 6 inches away.

The Big Fight

V

Sports and Social Karaoke tonight at 7.30. Recess Monkey V Gutbuster. It's going to be messy. Other star acts from blog land will be a source formerly close to the PM and Pookie as well as yours truly. You know it's the place to be.

Date For Your Diary

Whilst on the subject of the Sports and Social Club just a reminder that next Thursday (14 December) is Sports and Social Karaoke night. Lord Lucan will be singing a number and has been told that Gutbuster will be in attendance with his Elvis impersonating voice. So if you do work in parliament come on down and have a great evening. The evening kicks of from 7.30 so get practising.

Tis The Season To Do Things You Would Never Do Anyother Time of the Year

Lord Lucan is on an attempt to try and loose a bit of weight before he puts it all back on over Christmas. As a result of this he has cut down big time on the booze and has made very infrequent visits to the S&S. However, news reaches him that in the season of much boozing and no judgment two patrons of the club fell victim of this. Apparently, alledgedly (and all other words to stress that I have no proof of this) two drunken people got to know each other very well on Monday night. Furthermore they got very close together just in the corridor outside the club and police were asked to "attend the scene" of this passion. Lord Lucan would be grateful if any spies were about on Monday and good feed him in on the truth or details of this story either in the comments or via email to thelordlucan@yahoo.co.uk.