Thursday, June 29, 2006

What a lot a PM has to do

Frankly I'm not too keen on children. Why then Save the Children keep emailing their latest campaigning news is a bit of a mystery. Normally it gets deleted straight away without being read. However, today's email from them had the interesting subject "Tony's to do list" and I opened it and sure enough here it is. Unlike standard Save the Children stuff it is actually funny. Yes, there is the stuff about global debt and free healthcare in Africa but the bits about the croquet mallet (Lord Lucan wonders if Gutbuster has returned his) and Euan's shaving kit did make me chuckle. So I thought I'd share it with you. Click to enlarge.

Hodger the Dodger

Last night the Uber-Blairite Progress held a meeting in committee room 8 under the title "The rise of the BNP: what should Labour's strategy be?" Top of the list of speakers which were advertised was Trade and Industry Minister Margaret Hodge. Lord Lucan was slightly surprised by this given Mrs. Hodge's helpful contribution to stopping the BNP at the local elections in May. Even more amusing though was that Mrs. Hodge failed to turn up to the meeting. Another killer blow then for the racist bastards from Margaret Hodge. Lord Lucan is now starting to realise why it says "Barking" under her name when she is speaking on the House of Commons annunciator.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Speaker Calls MP "Muppet"

PMQs just finished. More of the same really. Tony struggled, Dave looked pretty, Ming looked old and ready to be put in a home. The only highlight from the office I was hiding in watching it was about 5 minutes before the end when everyone had switched off and gone back to sudoku/work with PMQs still on in the background. Mr. Speaker got up and called out "What a muppet", where upon we all pricked our ears at this unspeakerish behaviour, and also because we thought Ming had had his questions ages ago. In the end it was just our inablility to understand Scottish accents and what Mr. Speaker had said was "Laura Moffat" as in the MP for Crawley. Oh how we chuckled.

Peers Vote for Speaker

History is in the making today as for the first time the House of Lords are electing the very first Lord Speaker. For practically 1000 years parliament has coped fine with a Lord Chancellor doing the job and frankly their Lordships are much more civil than the MPs that they never really needed a speaker. However, New Labour ignoring years of history and constitutional convention decided a Lord Speaker was very much required. The election takes place today in the Moses Room until 8.00pm and all Peers who have a seat in the upper house may vote. The result then is top secret and is taken to the Queen for approval before being declared in the House of Lords on July 4th. What happens if Her Majesty doesn't like the result then I don't know what happens. In the running alongside 5 others, is Liberal Dumbocrat Peer Lord Redesdale (pictured). In the 75 word statement each candidate was invited to submit, Redesdale said "I pledge, as Speaker I would do as little as possible in the Chamber, apart from sitting on the Woolsack". Not a bad little job for £101,000 a year, apartment chucked in and a £10,000 robe.


Hello, Lord Lucan here. Not dead, just hiding. Hiding very cleverly right in the Mother of Parliaments at Westminster. I am able to disguise myself as a Portcullis House fig tree as well as Pugin oak panelling or even a jammed photocopier. Hiding here day in day out, I hear the odd bit of gossip which I will relay to you on this very site. Welcome.