Friday, January 19, 2007

Running Back To My Readers

It is important to remember that I am still a much wanted criminal. As a result of recent "pressure" by HM Constabulary, I have had to be in hiding for the last few weeks. However, yesterday the heat was turned down as attention turned to a bungalow in Hertfordshire where a great thinker of our nation is under investigation for being a racist. Whilst in hiding I have been unable to blog. I realise the distress that this has caused many readers and for that I apologise. I will make a full return on Monday, until then may I make a quick appeal. The other dayI was moving location and happened to be walking in front of the Houses of Parliament. A jogger ran past me. This jogger was wearing the shortest pair of shorts, where her underwear was visiblyfalling out. She also had an incredible amount of cellulite on her thighs. All in all it was not a pretty sight. Therefore if you are a jogger (in particular a jogger who runs pass me early in the morning) please cover up. Remember you are jogging because you are ugly and are trying to get beautiful. I am naturally very beautiful and don't need to jog. So joggers please don't expose the bare flesh of your ugliness upon the beautiful eyes of beautiful people like myself. Thank you.

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