Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Moo, Poo and Drew

I am very grateful to a source formerly close to the PM for drawing my attention to one of the most stupid PQs, asked by Stroud (wherever that may be) MP David Drew...

Bovine Emissions

Mr. Drew: To ask the Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs what percentage of greenhouse gas emissions came from cows in the last period for which figures are available; and what plans he has to reduce such emissions.

Lord Lucan wonders whether more hot air comes out of a cows arse or out of David Drew's office. If you are interested in the answer, the poor minister of state at DEFRA, Ian Pearson who under his job is in charge of the farting cows department says:

Ian Pearson: Agriculture as a whole contributes 7 per cent. of all UK greenhouse gas emissions and 14 per cent. globally. The sector accounts for 36 per cent. of methane and 67 per cent. of nitrous oxide emissions in the UK, but only 1 per cent. of carbon dioxide. About 80 per cent. of this methane comes from enteric fermentation in the digestive system of animals (sheep, pigs and bovines), and 20 per cent. from animal waste. Methane emissions from agriculture have declined by 12 per cent. since 1990.

Recent research suggests that substantial methane reductions could be achieved by changes to feed regimes. Improving the longevity of dairy cows will also result in decreased methane production as a result of a reduction in the total number of animals needed to produce the same quantity of milk.

Defra is exploring the role of anaerobic digestion in reducing methane emissions in agriculture, both domestically and internationally. For example, we are taking a leading role in the Methane to Markets Partnership; an international initiative that advances cost-effective, near-term methane recovery and its use as a clean energy source.

So there you have it cows (and sheeps and pigs) are leaving a massive carbon footprint by their farting. David Drew, meanwhile, is just an idiot.

One more thing, just went to look for suitable picture for story. Went onto google and did an image search for "cow's arse". The first image which appears is a picture of Chris Huhne. Don't believe me? Try it (make sure you put the apostrophe in).

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Anonymous A Source Formerly Close to the PM said...

Could I just say M'Lud, that Dave Drew is a very nice and excellent MP and his Researcher is an extremely able and very nice young lady.

But the PQ did make me laugh. I was just disappointed the Table Office weren't brave enough to title it "Cow Farts"!

2:27 PM  

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